Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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