Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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