I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
