if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
