I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
