Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Randomize
