Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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