you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Randomize
