Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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