thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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