You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Randomize
