Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
