I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
