worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Randomize
