Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
