dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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