Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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