how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
You were trust falling into bushes
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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