I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Is Oprah even human
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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