omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize