I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
