I wish i was in the wii world.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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