i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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