Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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