Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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