I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
