Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
