Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
