I accidentally burped into my bong.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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