some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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