Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
