If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
