Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Randomize
