im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
he fucked my hip out of place.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
