You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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