Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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