i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
