Say something about gay babies.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
So vagazzling was a success
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
