Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
