we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
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So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
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hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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