shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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