i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
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He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
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The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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