Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
