areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Randomize
