I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
