I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
