Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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