Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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