I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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