someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
