i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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