And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
