I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
