Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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