I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
