I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
