this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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