She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
